COMPANY X EMPLOYS BRIAN THE SUPER GEEK!
He doesn’t answer back – works 24 /7 – produces top class code – and doesn’t shag the girls – but can be a bit smelly and spotty.
Yes it’s been a busy week for Company X at the geek festival in Silicon Valley California. On display were some of the world’s most fantastically spotty geeky geeks. The male to female ratio was about 500 to 1; in fact it was so bad that the Microsoft after party had to actually hire 5 girls to attend the geek party where thousands of geeks crowded around a giant X- BOX screen before comparing spots.
Company X had the most pathetic stand at the show – right in the back corner with nothing but a couple of posters to attract attention; which surprisingly worked.
Geek after geek arrived at the stand enquiring about all sorts of bollocks; and most of them were promptly slapped and told to fuck off. But Brian was a special geek and the future model employee of Company X. Senior management are tiring of the “fuck you I wont do what you tell me” attitude of most of the staff, young and old and so the new policy is to move towards a new super geek style employee.
Meanwhile Bob has been at it again as the curse of the volcanic rock strikes back as he loses yet another wallet. This could be some sort of world record – Norris McWorter (is he still alive?) needs to clarify this.
Meanwhile those crazy Italians have decided to buy 50,000 Company X pizza making machines - code named The Tomato Wanker. This has sent the share price rocketing (well it went up about 0.1%). The Tomato Wanker has the highest security level features of any pizza making machine in the world. It doesn’t make very good pizzas yet; well the machine doesn’t actually exist yet, but we are working on that and the security is all in place which is all good news for Company X. Well done team.
4 comments:
You can have our Andrew Geek version -2.1 if you want!!
Yeah - it has highest security in the world providing you don't actually want to get any work done.
The Moley is back!
Hey Folks! The moley is back from his travels with news so exciting that it will overwhelm you.....not!
But first....
Super Geek?
I think there's a typo there....it should read Super Greek. Yes they've started to employ them at Company X but that began a while back. They are easily identified by their tight shirts, floor-emptying dancing, crap jokes, fussy eaters, licking of manager's' arses and the overuse of the word FAN-TAS-TIC!
Someone in the marketing department will get it right up their backside as they were supposed to book for the greek fest not the geek fest.
***********************************
BOB - Why don't you just do without a wallet, then you won't lose it! If you wanna keep your money somewhere, put it in one of Company X's gambling machines, you may not make any money but the shares may go up by 0.0001%.
***********************************
"Tomato Wanker
There's something you don't read about every day, a wanker who looks like a tomato! Oops sorry, the new pizza making machine from company x being sold to the people who invented pizza's. Now that's something, the sales team must've acquired some brain cells. Now if only the could get the order signed by the Eskimo's for the billion tonnes of ice that Mr. Skywalker bought.
Then maybe we can get Company X's logo on the Man Utd strip, it'd be like a pork chop in a synagogue, useless but FANTASTIC.
***********************************
Now for the FAN-TAS-TIC news....
Hush hush.....but there's rumours of rumours that there is a 'major' interest in the Company's shares. What with the shares falling rapidly there's bound to be a major interest, but the latest word on the street is that its another gaming company and words like TAKEOVER and REDUNDANCIES are being used in the same sentence.
***********************************
Tip of the day:
To remove Andrew Geek -2.1, just make all the files and folders in lower case and put in mis-spelled words. This should be distracting enough for you to escape to the pub for the day!
***********************************
That's all for now folks, moley's off to dig another hole!
FANTASTIC!!!
Has Bob not learned yet?? Never fall asleep when your with a Hooker!
Post a Comment