Blamestorming

Stars who are interested so far

Company X – The Movie

Staring in order of appearance:

Jacques Chirac

Sharon Stone

Inspector Clouseau

Chris Rock

Zorro

Liam Gallagher

Del Boy

Tom Cruise

Einstein

R2D2

C3PO

Jo Pesci

Robbie Coltrane

Jason Donovan

Emmett Doc Brown

40 Year-old Virgin

Mel Gibson

Inbreds

Spiderman

Games Team comes out with storming new game - PONG!

It’s been in development for three and half years and was due for general release this week, but at the last moment one of the cleaners who was playing the game during a cig break noticed a flaw in the mathematics model! Bollocks!! Was the response from all concerned. It couldn’t be true! The numerically dyslexic team consulted with the mathematically challenged team and found that the cleaner was right. Fuck! How could we have missed such an obvious fuck up? Well because they are all fuckwitts you say to yourself – ah the joy of working with professionals. Let the blamestorming begin. A flowchart is attached to help you get started.

Meanwhile the curse of the Hawaiian volcanic rock strikes again! Yes BOB has been at it again, ever since he stole a rock from the sacred mountain of thingymebobbywhatisit he has been cursed with “bad luck”. An old Hawaiian lady was telling BOB about all the people who have taken a rock from the sacred mountain as a souvenir were sending them back in the post as their lives have been cursed with bad luck ever since. The old lady asked if BOB had taken a rock – no no was the lying cunt’s reply. Well lying about it has just added to the bad luck. But it is funny that all the bad luck incidents have been while he has been pissed out of head – like losing his wallet and then losing the new replacement card within 24hours in a bar – some bloke stealing all his money out of his account.

Meanwhile someone whose name begins with F keeps threatening to leave Company X – well make your mind up – this is top secret information that everyone knows about.

Meanwhile the HR department has been spilling Company X secrets to the mysterious ‘love machine”. This is such top secret information that even the Alternative Newsletter can’t even find out what the secret is that the HR department spilled; but it must be good and their have been rumours of rumours about what it could be……more on this next week.

Meanwhile top secret talks are underway with XXX & Co for the rights to Company X the movie!– during one of the many demonstrations are old friend BOB is prattling on and one of the members of XXX & Co turns to the others and says “geezz, he’s gone into binary mode again”. Company X the movie is now casting for stars – votes on who should play who will be counted and the script sent out ready for filming in the summer! The cast list includes potential characters for staff who are no longer with Company X but whose inclusion is a must for the film.

Two Company X employees caught holding hands at lunchtime in the park – shock!

And no it wasn’t S&M it was two guys. What the fuck!? Yes and even more shocking is the fact that they are not gay! They just like holding hands; Ahhh the wonder of cultural differences. Yes in some cultures holding hands between male friends is perfectly normal! Stop sniggering at the back their….Or so they reckon, it’s not surprising that this cultural idea has not caught on in the west.

And what the fuck is that retard President Bush doing holding hands anyway? Well it is nearly Valentines Day.
Also in the topical news today the Company X cartoonist enters (snigger – you said “enter”) the debate about free speech and religious hypocrisy – Debate