We Have Lift-0ff!

One member of company X who was supposed to be “working” in Florida, found the time to ponce off to Cape Canaveral to watch the latest shuttle launch! Very nice.
Company X shares are about to lift off too. You heard it here first. “Were on the verge of greatness” as the curry master would say.

As a number of Company X staff carry guns I though it would be nice to have a story from www.gunssavelive.com

Nickelodeon—the Brainwashing Network
by Curt Bolding
Curt Bolding is a 16-year police veteran with experience spanning four jurisdictions in Illinois. Still active in his chosen profession, he currently serves as both a street officer and as a police control and arrest tactics instructor.

On Father’s Day this year, June 18, 2000, I was enjoying a quiet morning with the kids, who were watching their favorite channel for cartoons, Nickelodeon. While I was lazing with a cup of coffee, thinking about things like picnics and puttering in the yard, something on TV caught my attention. During their usual commercial programming, Nickelodeon was attempting another kind of programming—aimed at my kids’ minds.
Several kids, ages about seven to nine, were pictured on the screen. All were holding cardboard signs, with either a red star or a blue star. Then the announcer spoke up, and said, "Do you think adults should have guns in a house if a kid lives there? Seven out of ten kids said no." Seven smiling kids were holding signs with red stars, three holding blue stars. I caught the next question, after doing the obligatory Danny Thomas style spit take. "Should adults own guns at all? Eight out of ten kids said no." Eight red stars. "Should guns be sold with safety locks on them? Seven kids said yes." You get the idea. To be fair, I may not have the numbers exactly right as far as how many kids said what. It was about a two-thirds majority in favor of the gun control agenda. If there was another question asked, I missed it because by this point I was too busy gnawing on my ankle.
In my apoplexy, I have crafted this article on my Father’s Day, before going out and doing my duty for America by sending my share of the fifty million rounds downrange. I must apologize to my regular readers who are more used to information-based articles from the standpoint of the professional police officer. Yet it is also my duty to point out to citizens the lower, more base, elements of society wherever they rear up.
The anti-civil-rights movement has clearly been channeling money to Nickelodeon to get that network to promote their political ideas. Now, wouldn’t you think that a network that provides kids’ programming would have some sense of responsibility as far as what kind of stuff they filled kids’ heads with? When the hell did pushing political issues on children become the right thing to do? I must have missed Nickelodeon’s ads pertaining to abortion, Kosovo, and the security lapses at Los Alamos. What’s next? Elian Gonzalez hosting a green slime game show?
This is by far the lowest level that the anti-civil-rights movement has sunk to yet. If they’re willing to brainwash all our children, they’ll stop at nothing. The Less-Than-A-Million Moms have proven that they’re not interested in discussion. The conversations that go on in their relatively few Internet message boards show that without exception they run and hide when presented with the facts. They are careful not to let reality intrude into their vision of a self-contained world filled with puppies and butterflies. Not that this is surprising; they are perfect examples of the timid, overly sensitive weaklings this society has bred in recent years. Wealthy hypocrites like Rosie O’Donnell and Diane Feinstein do their talking for them, so that the sheep may remain in their pens. In the rabid pursuit of their agenda, there are no rules. They have no honor. They have no integrity. Not content to try to disarm you, Ladies and Gentlemen of America, they’re now going after the minds of your children. Using the safety of their own children as their premise, yours are now expendable.
Watch Nickelodeon. See this travesty for yourselves, and come to your own conclusions. Should you have an opinion on the matter, you can express it at http://www.nick.com/. Feel free to drop my name and refer them this article. Tell everybody you know about it and post it on your favorite newsgroups. Every organization that is sympathetic to gun control, or more accurately, their money, needs to get the same message that Smith & Wesson’s been getting.
To paraphrase Walter Cronkite, the very idea that they’re trying to implant thoughts in your children’s minds ought to scare you to death.

One member of Company X seems to think that wearing big flowery gay shirts and jodhpurs to work is OK. It isn’t, stop it. This is gross misconduct and will be punished by sending the person to Millwall on a match-day to fix a machine wearing a Chelsea shirt.

Yet another Company X, ex employee (BE) was spotted by several of our spies returning to HQ to receive a pay off. It seems the only way to make any money out of Company X is too leave and collect the hush money.

Large amounts of shares seem to be filtering through the system at extremely low prices. These are for the new directors and friends of Company X.

Quote of the week from Hollywood.

USA woman to very posh UK man Mr N - "were any of your friends hurt by the bombs in London?"

Mr N - "no I don't think so darling, my friends don't take public transport."

More resignations from Company X were handed in today. One of whom was just using the company as a stop gap while his other job application went through. He obviously didn’t mention this in the interview. Nice one.
There does seem to be a problem with retaining new recruits which is not surprising really, as they soon realise that they have joined the Fawlty Towers of the industry with a management of Muppets.

Animal Magic / carry on camping.

One unnamed member of company X (Bob spelled M-A-R-K) went missing for 5 hours last weekend. Pissed out of his head he decided to walk back from the pub to the campsite. Oh dear bob who can even get lost during the day time while carrying a GPS system had no chance in the desert at night, with nothing but a belly full of beer to help out.

Wandering around aimlessly, bob gave up for a while and just stared at the stars. The coyotes started howling and bob in his pissed state thought it would be good fun to howl back…wrong. The coyotes got ever more excited and started howling and congregated in a pack and were getting closer to bob all the time, bob still howling thinking it was great…I can talk to the animal kind of thing…but then he could see in the dark lots of shadows and shapes…the bloody dogs had caught up with him. He shit himself and hid behind a cactus; fell in a ditch and cut himself to ribbons. This brought his senses back and sobered him up, eventually shaking off the dogs and getting back to base camp shortly before dawn; just before the missing persons file was opened.

US quote of the week

Q – couple to the pub singer at a hotel, “are the German couple here tonight?”

A – pub singer “no those two are English – those guys are with us in Iran”

Company X turned into a graph watching party today as the company at long last floated. Only 10 times below the much hyped and exaggerated figure Mr Skywalker had often quoted in the past but still it’s something of an achievement and must be applauded; considering the bizarre way the company is run, it’s a minor miracle.

Yet again we learn more from the press than we do from internal sources, the internal press release being delayed yet again due to boys being able to read blues and greens! No joke. The color / colour scheme must be changed. Mind you the internal press release only announces births, deaths and marriages nothing to do with work related matters at all.

The press failed to mention several key staff members at all, Albert & Shaz as examples, and who the fuck are all these highly paid NASA directors we seem to have acquired? Bunch of space cadets.

"We shall defend our island whatever the cost may be; we shall fight on beaches, landing grounds, in fields, in streets and on the hills. We shall never surrender and even if, which I do not for the moment believe, this island or a large part of it were subjugated and starving, then our empire beyond the seas, armed and guarded by the British Fleet, will carry on the struggle until in God's good time the New World with all its power and might, sets forth to the liberation and rescue of the Old."

Never, never, never believe any war will be smooth and easy, or that anyone who embarks on the strange voyage can measure the tides and hurricanes he will encounter. The statesman who yields to war fever must realize that once the signal is given, he is no longer the master of policy but the slave of unforeseeable and uncontrollable events.

The British nation is unique in this respect. They are the only people who like to be told how bad things are, who like to be told the worst.

Churchill

There’s a hurricane on the way toward Pirate Inc. Just when they thought it couldn’t get any worse!

French lose the Olympics bid – well we had to laugh. Yes you Chirac - I spit on your mothers cooking.

Company X has a new employee manual. Well what a fucking joke this is. From now on you cannot make sarcastic remarks in the work place!? This is an attack on the entire sense of humour of the country. “Nice haircut John” would now be considered harassment.

4th of July celebrations got off to a good start but were soon closed down by swarms of police.
Well behaved nice parties were considered out of control and shut down.

This was achieved by sending a team of police to swarm the building with a helicopter circling above. So over the top it was unbelievable.
This is Independence Day in the land of the free and the brave! Complete bullshit. Instead of saying on the notes “in God we trust” it should say “God help us”.

(The USA police would shit themselves if it was anything like the Notting Hill carnival or Glastonbury - Team America would be sent in the blow the lot up.)

Next on to a bar. Some guy falls asleep at the bar, a bit too pissed and so they shut the bar down at 8pm! We ask why and are told “you don’t understand things can get really of control here.” fuck me what a joke. One guy in the bar was saying with tears in his eyes “4th of July – the greatest county” when I explained that you couldn’t even get a drink at the bar he just replied “4th of July” overcome with patriotic pride.

Next on to another bar, where two pissed white supremacist skinheads (one who looked suspiciously tanned) are showing off their tattoos saying “White by the grace of God”. The bar security who seem very pissed off they have not been included in Team America decided to pretend that the Bar was in fact Iraq and the stairs were mission critical. They would practically deck anyone lingering for more than a second on the 3 steps connecting the upper bar to the lower. The offending customer would be treated as a POW and ordered to move. We have to walk out; this place is full of dangerous nutters.

Two new directors will join Fawlty Towers subsidiary Company X, and will they both get paid a bloody fortune for doing absolutely nothing.

One of them is listed in the CIA 1996 handbook. The other; Mr Lamb is a friend of a friend, nod nod wink wink.

Extra holidays are on the agenda. We get the minimum, what we are calling for is 6 days extra + 1 day for each year of service to a max of 30 days, plus a staff bonus of $2000 each, every Christmas; because your worth it.