Company X files patent for Copy & Paste Virtual Managers!
A copy & paste virtual manager can fuck things up in double quick time without even existing. If you require your project to be screwed up, just copy and paste your virtual manager from your virtual server to your desktop. The Virtual Manager will instantly instruct you to fuck things up manually. There is a slight bug in the automation process and requires the user to manually help the virtual manager to fuck things up; but this doesn’t matter as the bug is virtual and doesn’t really exist.
Why is the Virtual Manager so effective? Well, real managers just waste time and money with meetings, talking bollocks etc, and actually want paying to do this??? What a waste of time you say to yourself. What is the point when I can get a virtual manager for free which will fuck things up much quicker and has more personality than a real manager. As you own the virtual manager, they can look exactly how you want them too! You can even have virtual sex with your manager and sack them for a newer model when you get bored!
3 comments:
Oooh oooh!
I want one! I want one!
Where can i get one? Can i download it? How much is it?
I've always wanted a virtual manager to fuck up my projects and then to fuck me up the arse with a plastic dildo!
The only thing better than 1 is many! Soon, Company X will split all teams into micro-teams ( consisting of 1 person ), then each "team" gets it's very own virtual manager. That should get the job done lickety-split!
Three cheers for such inventive and innovative strategies! Hooray!
Calm down, calm down. The announcement is far too hasty, as usual.
As of this writing Virtual Managers require Microsoft Vista and can only be run on 64-bit multiprocessor systems equipped with a redundant array of v.2 Trusted Platform Modules. You will also need to wait for the network department to issue you with a suitable trusted certificate, otherwise the firewall will block any possible discourse between yourself and your Virtual Manager. It will not be possible to lift this restriction until certain Top Secret patents have been officially granted to the Company.
This is a known issue and QA were informed of it Q3 2004.
Post a Comment