Sacked
Comiserations to Mr Limes, who was earlier sacked for being 3 weeks late for his first day at work.
If you know somebody who knows how to wear a tie and has no family, pets, or other comittments, please get them to send in an application form.

Resigned
Congratulations to our former editor who is leaving us. Whether or not this message should be going under the previous heading or not is yet to be confirmed. We wish him all the best in starting up his new business ventures, opening up a ski school and an anger management clinic. I'm sure they'll be a raging success.

World Cup Fever
Watch out folks, there's a bit of world cup fever going around. With games clashing with working hours and all, I fear many of us could catch this disease in the coming weeks. Common signs are profuse sweating, hysterical maniacal behaviour, missing teeth, inability to use public transport, and a severe involuntary increase in vocal volume. If you start to develop any of these, stay at home and drink beer until symptoms ease.