Q. How many Company X engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

A. 1

BUT – and it’s a big butt or derriere as they say in France.

There would have to be a secret meeting of upper management first, to discuss an inaction plan. An engineer would be chosen. It’s now up to YOU to get it fixed and pronto.

Random hints like what country the flights should be booked for maybe forthcoming maybe not? The time and date of the proposed install date will be kept secret until the last moment, just to coincide with your mother’s birthday celebration. No name and address of the client will be given to you. No hotel will be booked that is up to you to sort out.

You are eventually escorted by a mysterious driver and armed guard to a building in the middle of nowhere. There in the middle of a gigantic warehouse surrounded by 10 excited client staff holding torches is the offending blown bulb 30ft off the ground.

So where is the spare bulb you enquire?

There are now weeks worth of discussions, e-mails, crisis meetings, blame-storming, more crisis meeting, frantic phone calls, lost fedex packages, flights around the world etc.

Eventually the spare arrives. Only one though. It is the last one in stock and they don’t make that bulb anymore! You carefully open the package – it’s not broken! That’s the first thing that has gone right. You carefully hoist yourself up into the rafters on a homemade wheel and pulley system. You insert the bulb, and climb back down. You now have 30 to 40 very excited client staff waiting around the light switch. You flick the switch – nothing happens. You try again – nothing. You climb back up and inspect the bulb – it’s blown!

More frantic calls, crisis meeting, blame-storming, a few sackings, a few resignations. Why wasn’t it tested? Who tested it? These questions can’t be answered now.

The client is now very upset. We have a new plan – rewire the entire building to fit the bulbs we have in stock! Great Idea! Weeks, months, years pass by. You are expected to file reports everyday on the situation, but everyday is groundhog day.

Eventually the big day arrives. The building has been rewired, 15 Company X staff are now in attendance. You hoist yourself up into the rafters, you insert the bulb, but it doesn’t fit!!

Crisis meetings, new plan, it was a KNOWN ISSUE so that is Ok.

A press announcement states that the great bulb install is going swimmingly well – we have orders for thousands!

And on it goes.