Two new directors will join Fawlty Towers subsidiary Company X, and will they both get paid a bloody fortune for doing absolutely nothing.

One of them is listed in the CIA 1996 handbook. The other; Mr Lamb is a friend of a friend, nod nod wink wink.

Extra holidays are on the agenda. We get the minimum, what we are calling for is 6 days extra + 1 day for each year of service to a max of 30 days, plus a staff bonus of $2000 each, every Christmas; because your worth it.